There comes a time in many people’s lives where they realize Mom and Dad need more help than they are able to provide.
Moving one parent into a senior living community can be tough, but having to move both parents together is an entirely different challenge, especially when they need different levels of care. Attempting to make sure both individuals are happy and getting the help they need is a balancing act that can create a lot of stress.
Once you, your family, and your parents have agreed that moving into a senior living community will be the right decision for them, research will need to be done in order to find the right place. This is undoubtably a very big task, but finding a community that can not only tend to their medical needs, but their emotional and social needs as well is important to their overall health. For spouses who require different levels of care, a Continuing Care Retirement Community (CCRC) like Collington is often the best option. This type of community offers residents independent and assisted living, memory care and rehabilitation all on one campus, which is ideal for spouses who want to live together but have different medical needs.
In addition to taking care of their residents from a medical standpoint, CCRCs offer plenty of opportunities for social interaction. Talk to your parents and find out what is important to them both individually and as a couple. Does your dad love to be on the water? Find a community that offers kayaking and canoeing. Does your mom love to knit? A community that offers a knitting club will be a perfect fit for her. In addition to their individual wants, take into account what they need as a couple. If being close to each other is important to them, look for a residence that has a community dining hall where they can eat together, and buildings that are close so they won’t be more than a short walk away from each other if they have to be separated.
Being in a CCRC allows each spouse to create the kind of life they want to live. If mom has cognitive decline and doesn’t enjoy doing much but dad remains very active, it can be hard for them to find a balance and one spouse may be left feeling unsatisfied. By being part of a CCRC, each individual can participate in activities they enjoy, they can get the medical attention they need and can still remain close to one another.
During the decision process, involve your parents in smaller decisions as much as possible. Be transparent with them and make them aware that they most likely won’t be living in the same room, but they will not be far from each other. Allow them the opportunity to visit the communities, speak with staff and residents, and be involved in the conversation, it can help diminish any fears they may have and make them feel like they have control in the situation. This will help to make their transition easier when they know exactly what to expect.
Though the process will not be easy, and your parents may not be happy about every decision, their well-being is the priority. As time goes on, they will adjust to their new home and their new living arrangement and you will have peace of mind knowing they are safe and well taken care of.
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